Coffee Talk: Why I Stopped Meditating
Last year, I made it a point to start meditating. I was feeling busy in life and my mind felt generally very overcrowded with too many to-do list items and things I can't forget, so I thought I'd take up meditation to clear my mind and focus my thoughts.
For a few months, I used a meditation app called Headspace fairly regularly, and at some points I was meditating every single day. As someone who isn't great at sitting still—and doesn't like being left alone with her own thoughts—it was a challenge, but I really got into a groove.
Lately, I've stopped meditating altogether and I actually feel much better. Here's what I loved—and didn't love—about meditation:
what i loved // it's a nice mental break
I have to admit, meditation is a really nice mental break. Sometimes I feel like I'm working my brain so damn hard it's going to explode. When I was in the habit of meditating, it was nice to have five or ten minutes a day where I had no other job but than to focus on the task at hand.
what i didn't love // feeling like i had one more thing to do
Most of the time, my life is just one really long to-do list. Between my day job, blog, and personal to-do list, sometimes it feels like all I do all day long is check boxes and complete tasks. Adding on meditation into my already packed routine felt like I always had one more thing to get done, and left me feeling guilty and unaccomplished when I didn't finish it for the day.
what i loved // how accessible it is
I absolutely love how the stigma around meditation is melting away, and how easy it is for everyone to meditate, anywhere, anytime. Apps like Headspace are great to bring the ease and information straight to you and your phone, wherever you are.
what i didn't love // how hard it was to get into a routine
I am big into my routines, and I typically love having set things to do at certain points in the day. You should see my nighttime skincare routine—I'm a freak about the details! But for some reason, meditation was something I never really wanted to make time for, no matter how great I felt about it. It was really hard for me to stick to a set schedule, and the lack of repetition made it easy to forget to do it each day.
what i'm doing instead
Now that my meditation journey has somewhat come to an end, I'm taking my favorite parts of it and finding it in other things I love—reading, writing, and cooking. All acts that make me get lost in my thoughts and take a mental break, but that I don't dread doing or feel like I have to check off a list every single day.